Across the Universe

Salutations! What a week it has been on the other side of the planet. Here are some things you should know about Russia...

1. Don't upset a Russian. They may smack you (Courtney learned that the hard way)

2. There are an alarming amount of gingers here.

3. The food here is actually quite delicious. Once again, being vegetarian has its perks! You see, I DON'T get served the liver. If I come back looking like I ate a Russian, it's because of these dang blini. I am addicted, and now it's out of control! I can't stop. They're just....so....goooooood. If magic had a flavor, it would be blini.

Heaven :)

4. The kids here are CRAZY! I mean, don't get me wrong, they are adorable but man....it must be something in the water. One boy, named Maxime, was "misbehaving" (that is the biggest under statement of the century) so I was trying to control him. As I was trying to take him to a Russian teacher he latched onto Ty's leg, grabbed my arm, contorted his head around, and sunk his little fangs into my hand. It left a bruise (which isn't saying much considering my skin could be bruised if it was too windy out). Needless to say, Maxime is on my list....Another boy at a different school, whose name escapes me, looked at me, pointed, and started making some kind of demonic growl. I was terrified. I thought for sure the next step would be him pouncing at me and eating my face off. Instead he just cried. Guess there's just something about me that Russian kids don't like. Maybe the blue hair...which brings me to my next point.

5. Russians don't like blue hair. They are always laughing at it, saying I am crazy. Yup, tell me something I don't know.

6. My neighbors upstairs are CONSTANTLY rearranging their furniture. At all hours of the day or night. At least that's what I think they are doing. Hopefully they aren't practicing some kind of seance that involves sacrificial rituals. Best case scenario, I actually have wizards living above me and they are practicing the levitation spell. That's what I tell myself so I can sleep at night.

7. Russians don't like it when you pay in big bills. They will yell at you.

8. Sveta (our parent coordinator) is the best thing that has ever happened to Russia. Words can't describe how awesome she is. She takes us our on excursions each week. These are always a good time. Examples:
  
We have mini flash mobs where we break out in song on the streets, along with not-so-choreographed dance moves.

Sveta grabbed my arms and flapped them like a bird. Then we ran whilst flapping my wings, making bird noises (well the noises were mostly from me, but still)

Me and Sveta were made for each other.

And here she is :)

9. I have learned to love the metro. Yes, you get a lot stares (the price of being American...on second thought, I think I get a lot of stares in America as well. So let me rephrase that, the price of being psychotic...) Yes, they usually smell like BO. Yes, they are extremely crowded. If you are lucky enough to get a seat, you also have the pleasure of staring the crotch of the person standing in front of you. But I love it. Yesterday on the metro, a mini band performed. Out of no where I hear drums and then a saxophone joined in. It was a joyous moment for all! Except the old woman sitting next to me. She plugged her ears. Hilarious. Her eyes were screaming, "These blasted hooligans and their loud noise machines!" Always an adventure on the metro.

And finally....
10. One day a flock a pigeons is going to swoop down and carry me off to their kingdom in the clouds. Pigeons are everywhere....bum bum BUMMMMMMMMM (dramatic music)

It goes without saying, I LOVE IT HERE! I love my group (don't know if they can say the same about me). I am pretty sure they are all telling their parents that if they had known their head teacher was so insane, they would have never come. My apologies to my group. But if me walking out in a Batman onesie didn't scare them away, I don't know what will. They passed the test. Twill be a magnificent semester! Until my next post.....you know the drill.....Peace and Love :)

Back in the USSR

Yup...I am still goin with the Beatles' titles. Anyways....GREETINGS FROM THE MOTHER LAND! What a trip. So far everything has been sublime. But let's back up to the very beginning. First of all, I suggest that no one ever books a flight for 6:30 AM. Ever. Especially when you have 20 hours of travel ahead of you. Bad. News. Bears. So my flights. Shall we start with Salt Lake to Chicago? Everything was totally normal and ordinary. Oh except for the guy next to me mumbling to himself the whole time. About who knows what. He would throw in the occasional outburst of laughter whilst shaking his head. I don't know, maybe he told himself a hilarious joke (because we all know we've done that before). OR he saw apparitions of animals wearing human clothes. Ya....that was probably the case. Then he kept taking pictures of the clouds with his phone. He would say under his breath "Oh yaaa....that's a keeper. Real nice. Mmhmm." thks happened at least 6 times. Kudos to this guy for making his flight more enjoyable than the rest of us drones.

Chicago airport was nice. It's sad when the most exciting thing is your day is when you discover the toilets automatically change the seat cover. I don't know how many times I went to the bathroom just so I could wave my hand above the seat like a wizard. You think I'm kidding. And then I had to talk about it to everyone who walked in. "Have you seen those toilets? It will change your life forever! My mind is still blown!" I need to get out more often.....

Our next flight was Chicago to Germany. This flight actually was fairly normal. However, by this time I began to realize I was rapidly regressing to the age of 4. Let me just paint of picture of what the people around observed. A girl that is at least 20, wearing a pink unicorn sweater, taking pictures with a toy action figure (its Fin from Adventure Time, if you were wondering), clinging on to a penguin pillow pet, and playing with a Gameboy (and yes, I WAS playing Pokemon). I should probably re-evaluate my life when all of things are occurring at once. Except for the pillow pet. Bringing that was the smartest decision I have ever made. You wouldn't believe how much attention that gets. Especially with the Germans. They got a kick out of him. I should carrying that everywhere. Maybe get some dates with the fellas. "Did you guys happen to notice my pillow pet? Ya...its a pillow AND a pet." If that doesn't work than I don't know what will. Anywhoo...back to flying and my weird instincts to revert back to 1995. On my flight to St. Petersburg these girls actually got really excited when I pulled out my Gameboy. At least I think they were excited....they were speaking German. But I did hear the word Gameboy. And I am going to assume they something along the lines of "Hey that girl's got a Gameboy. She is SO cool. I wish I could be more like herrrrrrr. An inspiration to us all." Yup. That's definitely what they said. NOT "Does that girl seriously have a Gameboy? What is she, four years old? I think there's something wrong with her." They would never say such lies.

After about 20 hours we arrived in St. Petersburg. ITS SOOO GREEN! Holy moly. We are straight up in the forest. Flying in it looked like a autumn day in Narnia. Freakin awesome. Here we met our coordinator, Alla. She is the sweetest lady. Love her. Her English is good enough to understand each other. She has been taking very good care of us. I live in an apartment with three other girls, Meghan, Sydney, and Courtney. All passing my "Rad List." If you don't know what constitutes making the Rad List, you are not on it so don't even bother asking. We are getting along marvelously. It's very rainy here, ergo my hair is FABULOUS. Since when is poofy, frizzy locks, Kramer style, NOT the hottest thing you have ever seen? Even though the temperature is on the nippy side, I have been enjoying it. Autumn doesn't get a turn in Utah. So I like it here.

It's been a busy couple of days. Running around, trying to get things ready for teaching on Monday. I am pretty sure we stick out like sore thumbs. You can definitely tell we are loud obnoxious Americans. REPRESENT! Today we had the pleasure of going to the doctor to get all checked out. First of all, the doctors didn't speak any English. Mostly our conversations consisted of them asking me something in Russia and me replying with the nervous laugh you all know so well. Then they responded with shaking their heads. The first doctor checked out my throat and ears. And boy did he go to town of my ears! He stuck that ear checker thing way the crap into my ear canal. I know it's something you just tell kids to freak them out, but I am pretty sure he actually reached my brain. From what I gathered, I am in tip top shape for those things. Yahoo. The next doctor checked my breathing, organs, and skin. I got to lift up my shirt, spring break style, for that doctor. That's always a good time...I should clarify than none of these procedures were terrible. Just so you know. I am not a wuss. The next procedure was getting blood drawn....and the last one....I would rather not talk about. For discretion's sake, let's just saw I had to swab a place that I never imagined I would have to swab. (On second thought, if anyone has ever "imagined" swabbing that....they are really really sick). I had to go behind this curtain and just drop my drawers. Welcome to Russia. All in all I survived. I pretty much just laughed the whole time. When I left the exam room I said "Spaciba" the the doctor which means Thank you. She looked really confused as to why I would be thanking her for making me swab my hmmhmmhmm. I was just tryin to be polite haha.

I really am loving every second here. I haven't been GREAT at taking pictures. Tomorrow I promise I will start snappin those like no body's biz. So until then...no pictures for you! (Did you read that in the soup Nazi's voice? You better have). I miss and love you all! Hope this blog met your expectations of confusing, ADD, disturbing writing. Because that's all I really know how to do. SO GET USED TO IT. And with that....I must retire to my quarters. Peace and Love :)