In My Life

Never a dull week in the land of Russia. My kids know how to make every second entertaining. First, we will start off with a cute story :) And then it takes a turn for the crazy. So the cute story pertains to Ivan, the ginger who I talk about in pretty much every post. I was sitting next to him in class when it was time to read. Each child took a turn reading. While one of them was reading away, Syd looked over at me and Ivan. She says to me, "Are you guys holding hands?" I look over at Ivan. Sure enough, he was in fact holding my hand. I hadn't even noticed. Oh Ivan, why are you so cute. And of course we had to have our staring contests. Each class Ivan likes to engage in these forever long staring contests. You would think with the amount of staring off into the distance I do, I would be good at these things. But alas, Ivan comes out the victor every time. You win, Ivan. You always do.

Now for the crazy. There's always a bit of chaos at the Old KG (kindergarten). But what's teaching kids without a bit of chaos? Courtney teaches the Basic Reading class, or should I say the Screaming-Spitting-Punching-Running-Crying-Flesh Eating-Psychopath Class. Love them. But they're nuts. In the midst of one of the outbursts I was talking to Courtney about this, that, and the other when in my peripheral I see Matvey. Staring at me. Enraged. And what I saw will haunt my dreams forever. He stared at me with his stank face, giant frown, crazy eyes and pointer finger touching the side of his head. He starts miming what I can only imagine is him drilling into my skull. It's the only logical deduction. Matvey, I know you want a piece of paper but please don't drill into my head and harvest my brains for whatever sick purpose you have in mind. Much appreciated.

Then there's Seroja.....he's about 4 years old. I kind of joke around with him about his intelligence....I mean, he doesn't understand me so it's okay right? He's probably saying the same about me but I have no idea what he's saying. So we're even. Seroja, you can call me retarded all you want. Well one day he walked in I I panicked because it looked like he had a bloody nose. "I do NOT want to deal with this." I mean it was all over his nose and a bit on his face. I was surprised he wasn't crying. I thought I had better take a look at him to see if he needs help, but as I approached him I realized something. Was it blood? Nay, it was marker. The kid stuck a marker up his nose. And you wonder why I question his intelligence?






I should also talk about our excursion. Make it sound like I am doing stuff with my life. Being the egomaniac I am, I just love to demand envy from all humans. So if you could fake jealousy for a bit that would be great. On Saturday Sveta took us out on the town as she usually does. This week we first made a traditional Russian dish. The best way to describe it....hash brown pancakes with cottage cheese in it? Even though that's not even close to what it really is. But I'm stickin with that so that's as good as a description as you're gonna get. All you need to know it that it was delicious like all food Sveta makes. Then we went to the Peter Paul Fortress. T'was a day filled with history. We walked on the first bridge in St. Petersburg, walked under the first arch in St. Petersburg, and visited tombs of Russian royalty.

Here we have the first archway 

Tombs of Nikolas and Alexandria

Tombs of the Romanoff Family

After the Fortress we went to a museum. When we walked in there was a huge circle of what appeared to be pirates, Renaissance peasants, and awkward teenage boys performing an organized dance routine. You never know what you'll find in Russia. The museum was actually pretty cool. It had pictures of St. Petersburg when it was first built. For whatever reason, I was in a mood that day. All you need to know is I regressed to the maturity of a 12 year old boy. And I'll leave it at that. Lately I have been thinking that Russia has made me grow up a bit and I that I feel more mature and "adult-like." But.....Saturday pretty much disputed all of that. I'll never grow up!! Try and make me!!! 

Me and Ty went on a little jaunt about town. Remember how I mentioned you never know what you will see? We were standing on a street corner waiting for the light to turn green. On the opposite side of the street there was this huge group of military men. Always a bit intimidating. As they walked by me I hear right in my ear, "Watchya Baaabyy!" in a high falsetto. I turned in alarm and in a moment he had vanished. I was crackin up. Well done, Russian soldier, well done. Then we went to Teremok (of course). Teremok is the best thing that has ever happened to me. This is where we get blini. I have talked about blini previously. To give you a refresher...it's the best fraggin thing I have ever eaten. We eat it....frequently. So naturally me and Ty got lunch there. This wasn't our regular location but we are no strangers none the less. I walked to the front of the counter and asked for an English menu as per usual. Typically they laugh and hand it to us. This girl was different. She slapped her hand over her eyes and shook her head in exasperation. Look lady. We can get through this. It's going to be okay. Cool your jets. So through this whole process she is sighing and griping and shaking her head. All I did was point to the Russian word of what I wanted. Simple as that. She ended up charging me more than she was supposed to. Hey, I may not speak a ton of Russian, but this ain't my first rodeo. I know my Teremok backwards and forwards so don't try and jip me woman!! She didn't like me correcting her. I thought lasers were going to shoot out of her eyes and disintegrate me. Luckily I got out of there before she had a chance. Take that Satan's Mistress!

Lastly, I just want to mention how awesome life is. I love these moments where I can contemplate where I am right now and what I am doing. The other day I was waiting for the metro train to come, Jason Schwartzman was serenading me with his relaxing tunes. He is such a tease. Stop leading me on Jason, you are a married man! Sheesh! Anyways. I was listening to my music, thinking about life, Herman Munster was chillin next to me, and everything seemed to stop. I slowed down for a sec to think about how lucky I am to be in Russia, be surrounded with the people here, and be teaching some pretty amazing kids. I love it. I wouldn't change a thing (except for the fact that I now have to re evaluate my life because Ty's class called me a hipster....IMBECILES!!!) I apologize to those back home who may feel like I don't talk to them as much as I should. I haven't forgotten you!! I still care about and miss everyone from my "previous life," as I call it. I am looking forward to seeing you all in three weeks, but for now I am holding on to every second I have here in Russia. So in the mean time...please remember...Peace and Love :)