Maxwell's Silver Hammer

News flash.....I fail at updating my blog!! My deepest apologies. I will blame it on the fact that I am too busy being awesome! So there. Man oh man oh man....Russia is the bomb. Part of the reason why I never update my blog is because I never know what to write about! There's too much! Like the time I saw a grown, sophisticated woman take a dump on the side of the road. I mean that's just rich. Or the time I growled at by a human. Or the time Batman came into our apartment! How could I possibly write about all of this stuff? (All of that really happened, INCLUDING the Batman thing. I swear. SWEAR TO ME! Oh geez, see Batman is here right now. Cool your jets Batman)

I guess I can start with the kids. Every day something out of the ordinary happens when you are working with kids. You just never know what they will say next. Take Sieva for example (my personal favorite). Keep in mind, Sieva is a psycho path. That child is straight up nuts. Love him though. So I was sitting in class with him when I noticed an idea flutter right into his brain. Its unfortunate that I didn't know what it was...because I could have prevented the next chain of events. I was just minding my own business, then the next thing I know, I was blind and suffocating. Sieva decided it would be a good idea to pull my sweater over my head and hold it as tight as humanly possible for a 7 year old, all the while yelling my nickname he has for me....Mr. Flesh. (Can we all take a second to think about how terrifying that image is. Mr. Flesh....I just picture of dude with skin sluffing off his face. Or dude wearing someone else's flesh) If that wasn't bad enough, this little fiasco escalated. From what I was experiencing from losing all senses of my, surroundings, I can only assume that what happened next was a fleet of River Dancers broke into the school, came into the class room and tap danced the crap out of me. It was one of the most brutal beatings I have ever received. I couldn't see, I couldn't breathe, my sweater wrapped around me like some kind of incubator the temperature of the sun, and I was getting bashed from every angle. I would much rather believe it was dancers than to admit I got my trash kicked by a class of kindergarteners. I love you too Sieva...love you too.  

Here's the little Devil. He's a keeper

Another incident that happened....there is this kid Zehar. Super cute. See. How could you just not love that face? That's where he gets you....he tricks you with that face of his so that you think he could never do anything wrong....and then he performs terrifying surgery on a doll, ripping out her hair with pliers, laughing and yelling in Russian with his arms in the air, while his "assistant" stabs the doll with a needle, which triggered the doll into having a seizure. It was a horrific display of behavior. I am now and always will be afraid of Zehar.

Zehar

See what I mean, never a dull moment. My group is....awesome. Especially the ones I live with. We have way too much fun. So much fun in fact that the people who live below us bang on the pipes in rage. Sorry neighbors. Don't murder us. We are just having a dance party. The craziest thing about our apartment (other than the fact we had spirits for about two weeks) is that we get surprise visits from famous people! It's the darndest thing. Unfortunately they always show up when I'm not there....

Batman came in through Syd and Court's window

This one needs an explanation....we have this guy whose job is to go in a huge pot of soup and stir it with dance moves. This is what he looks like

Soup stirrer 

Harry Caray....Syd and Court took their picture with him!

"Beaker" from the Muppets 

Aaaaaaaaannnnddddd......

Charley Chaplin!! Why....who were YOU thinking of??

Then it just got creepy....

Hopefully I will actually be there next time one of the celebs shows up!! As you can see....I have a great time here. Loving every second. The big city is so different from what I am used to. Like my town in Thailand....couldn't get any more opposite. I have to open my window at night because I get so blasted hot (this shouldn't be a surprise to anyone who has known me more that 5 seconds) and instead of hearing crickets and wind blowing through palm trees, I hear what I can only describe as a dub step song. "WAWAWAWAWA EE.EE.EE.EE.EE KRRRKRR.ZZZGRRRRRR." That...ladies and gentlemen, is dub step. Cars, buses, sirens, airplanes, crashes, that's what I hear every night. It just lulls me right to sleep ;)

Well folks...that is all for now. I promise to be better at documenting my stay here. I have been a slacker....from this day forth....I shall beeee.....PRODUCTIVE!! (who believes that?) And with that...say it with me.....PEACE. AND. LOVE! :)